Why I’m retiring at 33
When and where I work can’t be defined externally.
My work-life scale is only balanced if I’m the one in charge.
Designing my life looks like doing work that moves me.
About a year into my job as a domestic violence victim advocate, I became privy to an email exchange between my boss and the executive director of our parent organization. The email discussed areas where my office could “trim fat” to cut back on unnecessary expenses; our grant money dwindled dangerously close to zero. The ED aggressively suggested that I be fired to free up capital. The tone of the email was callous -- like I was a number to be added or subtracted, instead of a person helping victims in myriad ways. I never addressed that conversation, but my boss approached me about cutting my hours a couple of weeks later. I probably would have taken the pay cut without much complaint if I didn't know about that email. But the words that came out of my boss’ mouth next forever changed my view on working.
“I picked you because I know your husband will take care of you.”
Wow.
In the 21st century, I thought we were done with determining a woman's fate based on what the man in her life could do. My work ethic and results should have been the only barometer for measuring if it was worth it to let me go. I took that hit to the psyche and kept showing up to my job, though. After all, it was passion work; I didn't do it for the money. However, that remark burrowed itself deep in my subconscious. Occasionally, I would get a nagging reminder that the fate of my job was in someone else’s hands. And that someone else had no problem snatching my livelihood away. Her sexist and outdated views made her believe I could handle losing hours and money because my husband is a provider. Strike one.
When the pandemic hit, forcing most of us to shelter in place for over a year, I got pregnant with my second child. Naturally, my mentality on work shifted. I needed a lifestyle that would give me more time with him & his older brother. My children are my legacy; building with them is just as crucial as building for them. So, spending 40-plus hours of my week outside the home doing work that often left me stressed and burnt out wouldn’t cut it anymore. I had to drastically reduce my hours or give up work altogether. Strike two.
What I am exceptional at, what gets me out of bed in the morning and keeps me away from it at night, is writing. This blog, my 8 published books, the two books and one stage play I've ghostwritten, and countless other writing-based projects attest to that fact. As I said earlier, when I had my baby, my mentality shifted on what was more important in the work-life balance. Writing, publishing, a growing reader base, and an increase in clients all helped shift my mindset on finance, too. Suddenly, all the voices that shouted about writers not making money went silent. The math was starting to add up, and the numbers I put up on the board were undeniable. I had stumbled onto that coveted intersection where passion meets the paycheck. Strike three.
Realistically, I was always going to retire early. Pre-pandemic, my husband and I talked at length about me retiring by the age of 45 to see what I could make happen with writing. The pandemic, my boss’ careless commentary, and my talent created the perfect storm. By mid-2020, the circumstances were too ripe for me not to at least consider retiring from traditional work much earlier than planned. I thought about it a lot that year, but I kept the thoughts to myself. 2021 rolled in, and I wrote a few more books but quadrupled my client list and increased my revenue by 430%. At that point, I was still just having fun writing my books, engaging with the writing community, and being a valuable resource for others who needed guidance in their writing journeys.
The perfect storm grew when the cross-country move we planned for 2025 got pushed to 2022. My constant private yearning to leave the workforce to focus on family and build my writing business into a powerhouse that pays turned into a thought I had to speak out loud. If we were moving across the country, it didn’t make sense for me to seek new employment in another state. Here was my chance to take my writing business and move it from the side hustle to the main and only hustle. I laid out the plan for my husband, hoping he could see the vision through my eyes. It’s not always easy being married to a creative, but Joe proved why he’s the only man who can lay claim to the husband role in my life. He saw the vision, agreed to it, and has given endless support in so many ways since that conversation.
I’m retiring at 33 because, for me, work isn’t just a means to an end (money). Work is contribution; it’s how we make our mark in society and move cultures forward. Leaving the workforce makes room for my gifts and talents. I’m creating things I believe will move my culture forward. I have so much to give, and I refuse to be shuffled into work that doesn’t allow me to do that.
XO,
