Three ways to Build a Healthy
relationship with yourself
Photo by Eye for Ebony on Unsplash
“I love you, but I love me more.” -Samantha Jones, Sex and the City.
The most significant relationship you will ever have is the one with yourself. Its the one you’ll be in the longest and all of the work that goes into it is solely your responsibility. For these reasons, this is the relationship that you must pour endless amounts of time and energy into developing. You can not hope to have any success in external exchanges if what you have with yourself is toxic and damaging.
As always, I am speaking from experience. When I was younger, especially before I had Zyon, my behavior was reckless. The friendships I had at that time were superficial at best and connections based on mutual hatred at worst. That time in my life was spent trying to keep up with the Joneses, and now at 30, I realize that I don’t even like the Joneses. Staying in competition with women that most likely weren’t even aware of my existence made it impossible for me even to know who I was, let alone be able to establish a healthy relationship with myself.
Some therapy and an honest inventory of self helped me get to this point of complete self-love that I exist in today. I’m going to share three tips to help you get there, too.
1. Tell the absolute truth about what you want.
Everybody wants something different from life. We don't desire the same experience or result. Do you know your heart’s most authentic desires? If it’s unclear to you, sit with yourself and do the necessary digging to uncover what you came here to do or acquire. It won’t be what the next person has, and that’s okay. The universe will respond to whatever vibrations you put out, and truth vibrates the highest.
2. Check Yourself
We are all a “victim” of our circumstances. What family you are born into and how high or low you fall on the socioeconomic status is not up to you, in the beginning. However, as you grow and you learn, you’ll eventually pick up on tools and resources to make your life whatever you want it to be. Ultimately, you’re the one in control and to play the role of the victim all your life instead of taking responsibility for yourself can spiral you into a hole you might not ever climb out. Check yourself on throwing an unnecessary pity party before you wreck yourself.
3. Accept what you can’t change and change what you can.
C’est La Vie. . . Unless it isn’t. You have to be all of you so that you can love all of you. There will always be things that you can’t change. For me, it's the thickness of my hair, how low my hips sit on my body, and other physical characteristics. Come to terms with what is and always will be. Those things that are malleable, though, should not be complained about if you haven’t taken steps to change them. Never complain about what you can change.
Working through these three tips will help you start to center yourself, and once you put yourself at the center, the healthy relationship where you love yourself will start to emerge. Self-love is the greatest love, and from it, you can only build relationships with other people that are healthy, wholesome, and full of the love that reciprocates and replenishes.
