Get rid of men That know your worth (but can't afford it)
On my list of fuck-ups, a.k.a ex-boyfriends, there’s one who gave me the game that helped me to understand the importance of knowing my worth. One day, while laying in bed with this particular asshole, we were having a conversation about the ways men and women “use” each other. He told me that men will get into a relationship with a woman that they don’t like when it’s beneficial to them. It wasn’t until our relationship ended that I realized that our arrangement was defined by this truth.
And what a truth it is. A woman is the most magnificent part of this simulation that we call life. In any situation or whatever her social status she is, she’s resourceful and knowledgeable to the point that she is able to navigate and survive a world that despises her. In the past, life has been able to blind us to our own talents, accomplishments, and contributions. And when a woman is unaware of her value, people who are less than jump at the opportunity to take advantage.
My boyfriend didn’t like me, and even though the sex was Top 5 best (literally our only binding factor), I’m now very sure he wasn’t even attracted to me. He was loyal to his need for me. What I brought to the table is what kept him around for so long. He thrived on making me feel like my accomplishments were small, but didn’t hesitate to use those accomplishments for his own benefit.
For a brief period in my dating life, I believed the things men would lie to me about. So I didn’t know my worth. I wanted to be somebody’s girlfriend. I didn’t consider what I brought to the table other than romance and femininity. I never took into account my literal book smarts; the fact that I’ve always made and spent my own money, my motherhood, and the talents God gave me. All of these things plus some have been the foundation for a life mostly lived without immense struggle and lack. I thought I needed a man to be a bad bitch.
Imagine that.
I’ve struggled through those things to learn what’s real about me and what that means for my dating options. I will never again provide for a man who has made it evident that I am just a sum of what I can offer for him when he is not even a small part of the equation. I have learned what my worth is, and it’s my greatest desire that you know yours. Examine yourself and your contributions to your relationships. Add up your value and then fill your dating pool with people who can afford it.
